its so hard to stick to what you want to do now days. there are too many interruptions. nothing ever goes according to plan. i've completely lost my organised/planned lifestyle. it's pretty hard to adapt to such a change. yes no shit its a tad late for new years resolution. but i guess new month is alright? :p achieving one thing each month - not too hard right? less stress and more productive maybe?

well for a start, hes going to have so much pressure working in a new environment where hes basically on his own. he really doesnt need more stress and shit to deal with. and with my current state of emotions, it'd be a bit hard for him i guess... for the next month, no matter how hard it is, the least i can do for him is try to keep a smile, no matter how hard things will get. i'll tolerate anything and everything. never shed a tear again in front of him. im the only one he truly trusts, i have to be there to support him, right? who else will if not me? if there's anything, i suppose i'll just surpress it till hes well settled in then maybe speak about it? i really dont even know how i'll do this, surpress anger, surpress emotions, surpress stress. i know i'll feel as though im lying or keeping something away from him, but i dont know what else to do. its not humane to just let it all out on him when hes shitting himself already.

wish me luck please!

Categories: 2008 [t]

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